


The Four Times You Said Goodbye and The One Time You Didn't

by FandomDarling



Series: Frank Castle Series [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 20:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6486766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomDarling/pseuds/FandomDarling





	1. Chapter 1

The first time I met Frank Castle, I was pulling the night shift at the animal hospital. He brought in a beaten up pitbull. I tried not be taken aback by the mountain of a man that had entered. Judging from his haircut I guessed military or came from military. He had big ears that seemed endearing my thoughts were shaken when I heard a pitiful whimper.

   "What happened to him?" I asked as he shifted the dog in his big, strong arms. I began to examine the dog as I waited for answer.

"Dogfight." He grunted, I glared up at him.

   "If you were fighting him, I'll report you for animal cruelty." I said, angrily. He smirked at me and my heart melted a bit.

"It wasn't me, I swear. I rescued him from it actually." He said, looking down and smiling slightly at the dog. I watched the scene unfold I felt myself falling for this mysterious man.

    "I'll take you're word for it. Now can you carry him back to exam room for me?" I asked, he nodded and followed me as I led him to the back. He set the dog gently on the table as cooed at him when he whimpered. 

"I'll need you to fill out some paperwork after." I murmured, tugging on some gloves. He nodded, petting the dog gently between the eyes. I smiled.

     "Name?" I asked, sidling up to the dogs side. He looked at me and frowned.

"This is Max and I'm Frank." He said, smiling and extending a hand for me to shake. I shook it briefly, trying not focus on the warmth that spread throughout my body at his touch.

    "It's nice to meet you both." I said, disinfecting some of the open wounds on the dog before stitching one of the wounds and wrapping them in gauze.

"And you are?" He asked, smirking at me. I couldn't help but smile back. I stripped off my gloves and dropped them in the trash. 

    "(name)." I replied softly, tucking my hair behind my ear. 

"i like that." He murmured, not taking his eyes off Max. He loved that dog and I loved that about him. He looked up at me suddenly.

 "So he's all good?" He asked, crossing his arms. The warmth was gone and I felt it leave with his smile. 

     "Well, I'd like to keep until tomorrow just to make sure that his wounds are healing." I said, standing.

"Alright." He said, patting Max on the head. 

     "If you want to pick him up, we can get him in a kennel and settled in for the night." I said, thrusting a thumb towards the wall of kennels. He nodded and gingerly picked up the dog and followed me once more to the kennels. We shut him. Frank looked worried. I gently touched his arm and he snapped his head towards me. I didn't flinch.

     "I'll take good care of him, Frank. I promise. You can pick him up tomorrow." I said, smiling gently. He sighed and rubbing a big hand over his face. 

"Ok, you said something about paperwork?" He murmured, looking down at me.

    "Yes, I did. This way." I replied, as he followed me back to the front I could feel his eyes on me and I resisted the urge to look back at this handsome stranger. Once at the desk, I shuffled around trying to find the papers I needed, being pinned under his stormy gaze didn't help.

    "Here you are. It's just a bit of contact and billing information. The typical stuff." I said with a shrug. He breezed over the forms before pulling out a wad of cash.

"How much is it?" He asked, thumbing through the bills.

    "$75." I whispered, voice faint and barely there. He tossed the bills on the counter. He scribbled a few things down on the paperwork and handed it back.

"I'll be back to get him in the morning. Goodbye, (name)."

     "Goodnight, Frank" I murmured to his as he exited. When he left, I slumped against the desk fitting the feeling that this man was going to be trouble. Such wonderful trouble.

 

It was 10 am before Frank returned for Max. He sauntered him, sporting a black baseball cap and carrying two cups of coffee and a bag. I smiled when I saw him and stretched before standing up.

  "Max is doing really well." I said, leaning on the counter. He set the coffee and bag on the counter.

"Good. And how are you?" He asked, leaning in close enough that I could feel his warm breath. I shrugged.

   "Tired, but that's to be expected after a night shift." I joked and he smiled, I felt my knees buckle slightly and I silently thanked the god for the this counter. 

"That's why I brought you this. Thought you might need it." He murmured, sliding a cup my way. 

    "Thanks." I replied, gently. I picked it up and popped the cover off.

"Cream and Sugar." He said, nodding towards the paper bag. I smiled, grabbing the bag and emptying two creamers into my cup.

   "Careful. It's hot." He said with  smirk and I felt  myself blush. Mentally I facepalmed for acting like a schoolgirl. I blew on the steaming liquid before taking a gentle sip. It was like being able to breath again. I held back a moan as it warmed me from the inside out. I took a few more sips as Frank watched me smirking.

     "You wanna see him?" I asked, setting my cup down.

"Yes, please." He muttered, tossing his cup into a nearby trash can. We walked side by side this time towards the kennels. Max was waiting patiently, looking in much better spirits than last night. 

   "I changed his gauze once last night, I'll send some with you just encase he splits his stitches." I said, packing a small back of gauze for him.

"Thank you, (name)." He said, unlocking the kennel. Max let out a low whine and wagged his tail, happy to see Frank. 

 "Hey, Max. Ready to go home, boy." He cooed as the dog licked at his face. I couldn't help but chuckle. He looked at me sideways and smiled, before lifting Max into his arms. We walked back out front in silence as I tried to work up the urge to ask this man out. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

"Would you like to go out sometime?" He asked, setting Max down and attaching his lease. I smiled widely.

   "I'd love to Frank." I replied, grabbing a sticky note and scribbling my number down.

    "I don't work another night shift until next week and other than those days I'm off by 5:30." I said, sticking the post to his jacket. He smirked and plucked it off. 

"I'll call you." He muttered, scrunching his nose up before he smiled. 

    "OK." I replied, still smiling like an idiot.

"Alright then, Goodbye (name)." He said, warmly.

    "Goodbye, Frank." I returned,excitement building in my chest as he left. He turned casting a glance into the window and waving before disappearing. I sat down in the chair and sighed happily.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

        To say that I was nervous for my date with Frank was an understatement. It had honestly been a while since I'd been on a first date, having just gotten out of a 4 year relationship just last year. Although it hadn't hurt me the way that I thought it would, I was still timid at the thought of going out with Frank. My mind was consumed with questions and worries. For the most part, Frank, seemed to be a man of a few words and that could potentially spell disaster. But the morning of I rolled out of bed after a somewhat sleepless night, I poured myself a cup of coffee and threw myself into a some chores to take my mind off the butterflies in my stomach. As per usual, I got a bit - let's say - absorbed in my work and didn't realize the time until my pinged with a text from Frank. After shooting him my address, I realized that I had only 30 minutes to get ready. As soon as I hit send I rushed to the bathroom, jumped in the shower and rushed to get ready.  
I had just finished drying my hair when I heard a sharp knock on my door. I squeaked tossing on my jacket and rushing towards the door. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and opened the door with a smile.

  
"Hi, Frank." I said, melting when I saw him dressed in a crisp black button down, dark wash jeans and his leather jacket. He gave me an easy smile.  
     "Evening, Ma'am." He said, nose scrunching with his smile. I felt my heart pick up.  
"Let me just grab my keys and we can go. You can step inside." I said, opening the door a bit wider.  
      "Thank you, Ma'am." He said, stepping just inside the doorway. He looked around quickly, eyes wide and calculating. I felt his gaze on me as I entered my small kitchen and grabbing my keys.  
"All ready." I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet. He smiled again, stepping out the door before and waiting until I'd locked it before falling into step before me.  
"Where are we going?" I asked after a few moments of silence. He smiled and I was taken by how stunning he was when he smiled. Although, it wasn't a quite a smile it was more of a smirk. But I could live with that.  
      "It's a surprise." He said, looking down at me. I immediately felt small but safe under his intense gaze. We walked in relative silence to a small diner, where held the door open for me. The lady from behind the counter lit up when she saw Frank.  
               "Frankie! Where ya been? We've missed you round here." She said, emerging to give him a hug. He smiled, a real, genuine smile and I felt my knees turn to jelly as I watched him return the hug, wrapping his giant arms around the woman. When he pulled away, she patted his face lovingly. He smirked gently, nose scrunching as she turned quickly.  
               "I'll put on a fresh pot for you." She murmured, fiddling with the coffee machine as we took a seat. I smiled and looked around the quaint little diner.  
"There aren't many places like this left in Hell's Kitchen." I murmured, looking over the menu.  
       "That's why I like it. It was my wife's favorite spot." He said, voice trailing off as the lady brought two cups of coffee to our table.  
                "Here you go Frankie." She said, smiling sweetly at him.  
       "Thank you, Ma'am." He said, wrapping a big hand around the mug. She tsk-ed at him and left the table.  
"Frankie?" I said, with a little giggle. His ears turned red at the tips and he shrugged.  
       "It's cute." I murmured, reaching across the table and touching his hand. He looked down at my hand on his. In comparison mine was so small, childlike even. After a few moments, I pulled my hand away and cupped the mug tightly.  
"So you were saying this was your wife's favorite spot?" I said, trying to start a conversation.  
       "Yes, it was." He said, taking a sip.  
"Was?" I asked, taking a sip of my own coffee. He nodded, setting his cup back down on the table.  
      "Yes, she passed away a few years ago." He whispered, looking down at the table. I felt my heart twist.  
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, feeling my face soften. He looked up at me and shook his head.  
     "Please don't." He whispered, pleading with me. I racked my brain to find something else to say but thankfully our waitress came to take our orders.  
           "What can I get you?" She asks, looking Frank up and down.  
      "A plate of fries for the table?" He asked, looking at me. I nodded as she smiled at him once again. I felt a bit of jealousy boil in my blood. As she left I turned to the topic to something that was safe.  
"So how is Max?" I asked, sipping my coffee once more. Frank lit up a bit hearing Max's name.  
      "He's doing a lot better. Thanks for all your help." He said, this time reaching his big hand across the table to take mine in his. He brushing a thumb over my knuckles.  
"It was no problem. It's my job." I said, shrugging and enjoying the feeling of my hand in his. After this we fell into an easy conversation, chatting and laughing playfully until the diner was ready to close. As we left he once again held the door for me.  
      "Can I walk you home?" He asked, shyly. I touched his arm.  
"You don't need to do that." I murmured, smiling.  
      "But I want to." He said, smiling at me widely, ears catching the streetlight.  
"Well, if you insist." I chuckled, slipping my arm through his. We walked in a comfortable silence back towards my apartment, the city serving as our soundtrack. I rested my head again his shoulder as we walked. As we neared my block, Frank slowed our gate and I smiled to myself. At my door, he waited patiently as I unlocked it. Opening the door, I turned to face him.  
"Thank you, Frank. I had a really lovely time." I said, smiling up at him. He returned a smirk, before kissing me gently on the cheek. I felt heat flood my face as I tucked my hair behind my ear.  
        "I did too, Ma'am." he replied, quietly. I shuffled my feet not really wanting to say goodbye.  
        "Well, I guess this is goodbye." He said, giving me the biggest puppy dog eyes.  
"Goodbye, Frank." I said, stepping inside and giving him one last look. He smiled, as I shut the door. I clicked the lock and heard him walk down the hall. I pressed off the door and wandered deeper into my apartment, before flopping onto my couch and melting into a puddle of goop. It was official. I was falling for Frank Castle, hard.


	3. Chapter 3

    Almost a week went by before I heard from Frank again and when I did it was in the most unusual of ways.

I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes, a persisting knocking coming from living room. I slid out of bed, looked at the clock.  _3:00am_ ,  _"Who on earth?"_ I think to myself as I pull on an over-sized flannel and padding to the kitchen. Peeking through the peephole, I saw a battered Frank on the other side. I opened the door quickly, shock written on my face.

"Frank, Oh my Lord. Come in." I said, looking him up and down as he stumbled into my apartment. I closed my door, locking it before I turned my attention back to Frank. When I turned back to Frank, he was peeling his shirt of over his head. I felt my mouth go dry at the sight of his well defined torso it was littered was scars and bruising. He groaned in pain, as he fell into my chair. 

   "(name)." He groaned, using his bloodstained shirt to wipe sweat and blood from his forehead. 

"What can I do? Tell me what you need." I said, rushing to his side. 

    "I need you to stitch up my back. I'd do it myself but I can't reach it." He said, breathing through his nose.

"I'll do my best." I murmured, as he pressed a first aid kit into my hand. I took a deep breath as I opened the case. My hands were shaking as threaded the needle. As if he could sense my nerves.

    "Take a deep breath, (name). You can do this." He murmured, leaning forward to reveal a gash that ran parallel to his left shoulder blade. I pulled on the gloves and began to inspect his wound. 

"I don't know Frank, I've only done this on dogs." I murmured, pouring some cleanser on the gash. He hissed but chuckled.

   "You calling me a dog?" He teased, hissing again as I begin to stitch him up. 

"I don't know yet." I replied, smirking at the back of his beautiful head. He shook his head, but said nothing.

"Why do I get the feeling that what you do is dangerous?" I murmured, tying the final knot in the stitches.

    "Because it is." He murmured, pulling the tattered shirt back over his head.

"Why come to me?" I whispered, crossing my arms and pulling my flannel tighter around me. He looked as me as he rolled his shoulder, testing it.

     "I trust you." He answered, simply. I smiled at him gently, feeling my stomach flip as when he returned it.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked, stepping towards him. He smirked and nodded.

     "I could eat." He said, joining me the kitchen. We ate my leftovers in easy conversation until the sun started to rise. I looked up at him, haloed in the morning sun in my dinky little kitchen and felt infinitely happy. He looked at me, black eye blooming.

"You're dangerous." I whispered, pushing my plate away from me. He mirrored me, crossing his arms. 

    "Does that scare you?" He asked, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table.

"Honestly, it terrifies me." I murmured, mirroring him. He smirked and shook his head.

     "Do I scare you?" he asked, voice husky and low. I looked at him all muscle, gunpowder and bruises.

"No." I answered, simply. He just nodded, scrunching up his nose before reaching across the table and taking my hands.

      "Good." He murmured, kissing my knuckles. I swallowed hard feeling my heart twist.

"You should probably get some rest." I muttered, pulling my hands away and tucking them into my lap.

       "You are right." he said, standing up and heading towards the door.

"Frank." I whispered, following him to the door.

       "(name)" He replies, gently.

"Goodbye." I said, with a small smile.

        "Why do you always say goodbye?" He asked, smirking at me as he scratched the back of his head. I bit my lip as he waited for my answer.

"I just get the feeling that every time you leave, I might not see you again." I whispered, looking at my feet, embarrassed. I felt a gentle hand lift my chin. His normally stony gaze was soft like the calm before a storm. 

         "(name), you are the first woman that's made me feel this way in a long time. I've lost alot in this life and I don't plan on losing you. So I'm not going anywhere." He whispered, I felt my eyes tear as he cupped my face in his giant hands. I brought my hands up to rest on his strong chest as he pulled me in for a soft kiss. His lips were chapped, but I couldn't bring myself to car as he wrapped his arms around me. He smiled as he pulled away.

        "Goodbye, (name)." He whispered, tucking my hair behind my ear before turning and heading out my door. I gave a half-hearted wave as I watched him leave, the feeling of his lips still lingering on mine.

"Goodbye, Frank." I muttered, locking my door and falling against it exhausted and love struck.

   


	4. Chapter 4

For the next two weeks our nights were spent like this. It my dingey little kitchen eating leftovers and in these moments is when I got to know Frank Castle. He told about Afghanistan and his family, but I had a feeling that I wasn’t getting the whole story. Frank Castle was a man of paradox. He radiated danger, but made me feel safe. He was rough yet gentle. Most nights when we made love I could tell he was holding back. But I didn’t push him, I just settled for feeling his tense, strong body moving against mine. I knew that I didn’t know everything and somehow I was ok, with that because I had him, whatever he had given me and for now that was enough. It had to be.

In retrospect, I should’ve put everything together sooner, I should’ve figured it out. The bruises, the cuts the smell of gunpowder that always clung to him. But the biggest hint came one morning as we walked down the streets of Hell’s Kitchen with Max. A newsstand was just opening, flaunting their papers that said “Punisher strikes again.” I had felt Frank tense at my side and pull his black baseball cap just a bit lower over his eyes. He tensed even more when the old man working the stand called out to him.

                “Whaddya think of that there Punisher?” Frank put his head down and picked up his pace, dragging Max and I along with him.

“Frank what’s wrong?” I asked, stopped as Max stiffed the edge of the sidewalk. He turned to me and shrugged.

“Is it the Punisher? Do you think I’m not gonna agree with your opinion on him or something? Because personally I think that he’s doing the right thing. He’s just going about it the wrong way.” I said, crossing my arms. I saw him relax visibly.

“You’re not scared of him.” He asked, cocking his head and looking at Max.

“Not when I’ve got you. Besides he seems strictly take out criminals. I haven’t done anything worth punishing.” I said, taking a step towards him. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

                “I’m sorry.” He murmured, returning to my side and giving me a gentle kiss.

“It’s alright.” I whispered, smiling at him. He slipped his arm through mine again as we began to walk once more. He smiled at me, then at Max and if you had seen him on the street you’d thought he was the happiest man on earth. I was certainly the happiest woman. But little did I know that it was about to come crashing down.

\------------------------------

                It was late when the sound of gunshots filled the air, rising above the din of Hell’s Kitchen and echoing into the night. Sirens where screaming well into the wee hours of the morning as I say in my kitchen clutching cup after cup of coffee, praying that Frank would turn up unscathed. But somehow, in my gut I knew that he was involved in this.

I was dozing at my kitchen table, when I heard a rapping at my window. I sprinted into my living room to see Frank, crawling in from the fire escape.

“Where have you been?” I cried, trying force the angry tears away. He shrugged, sitting on my couch. I felt tears pricking my eyes.

“Frank?” I whispered, harshly. He looked up at me eyes, black eyes starting to yellow glinting sharply, lips set in a firm line.

                “What?” He muttered, resting his forearms on his knees and looking up at me.

“The news, they mentioned your name. That you’re--Tell me you weren’t a part of last night. Tell me you’re not…” I shook my head, words dying in my throat as the tears began to fall.

                “What do you want me to tell you?” He asked, tilting his head and looking up me.

“Tell me you’re not the Punisher.” I whispered, crouching in front of him.

                “I can’t do that.” He whispered, caressing my face. I choked on a sob as I pushed myself away from him.

“Why?” I muttered, standing up. He furrowed his brow and looked at me.

                “Why what?” He asked, jaw clenching.

“Why are you doing these things?” I asked. He stood up bringing himself to his full height.

                “Revenge.” He murmured, simply as he reached out for me. I stepped out of his reach. I saw sadness wash over his face.

“You’re scared of me now?” He asked, face falling as he looked at me.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”  I whispered, crossing my arms feeling the flannel of one of his shirts against my skin.

                “You said you weren’t scared of The Punisher, of me.” He whispered, looking at me with sad eyes.

“That’s before you were the same person.” I murmured, sitting in my armchair.

                “I’m still Frank, your Frank. The Punisher is who they made me.” He said, coming to kneel in front of me. I flinched as he rested his head in my lap.

“I just don’t understand.” I murmured, threading my fingers gentle through the longer part of his hair.

                “I’m so tired, (name).” He murmured, sniffling his tears staining my legs. I continued to rub his head and he cried, giant shoulders heaving. I lifted his head and pressed a kiss to his lips gently.

“I love you, Frank Castle.” I murmured, pulling him into a tight hug. Slowly he brought his arms around me, hands twisting in the fabric of the shirt, holding on. My tears mixed with his in the early morning light. A few moments later he pulled away, wiping at his own tears and then using his big thumbs to wipe mine.

                “I have to go. I don’t want you to get into any trouble.” He murmured, cupping my face. I felt rage building in me.

“You said that you weren’t going anywhere.” I said, pulling from his grasp and pushing past him. He stood up and followed.

                “I know what I said. But this is to keep you safe.” He said, in low voice.

“How is this keeping me safe, when you’re breaking my heart?” I cried at him angrily. He didn’t answer.

“If you know me at all, you would know that I want all of you, matter what. Let me stand by you. Don’t make my decisions for me.” I screamed, coming up in his face.

                “My mind his made up.” He murmured, straight faced. I clenched my jaw and slapped him, hard, the resounding crack resonating in my apartment. He just smirked and touched his reddened cheek.

                “I deserved that.” He muttered, stepping around me.

“Sure as hell you did, Frank Castle.” I spat, angrily as I crossed my arms and stomped towards the door.

                “What are you doing?” He asked, looking at me as I opened the door.

“You wanted to go. Well leave then.”  I said, gesturing for him to go. He looked at the door and gathered himself for walking to the door. He stopped in front of me, casting me a sideways glance.

                “Goodbye, (name). For what it’s worth, I do love you.” He said, before walking out.

“Goodbye.” I whispered, angry leaving me as I shut the door softly behind me. In the moments after, the gravity of what had happened hit me. Falling against my wooden door, I wept for I had lost the one thing that I truly cared about.

 


	5. Chapter 5

A week passed and I heard nothing from or about him. The early in the morning on the last day, I resigned myself to another sleepless night as I rolled out of bed and pulled on Frank’s flannel, before padding out into the living room. I switched on the TV before going into the kitchen to make myself some coffee. I returned to the living room cupping my mug in my hands just as I heard the breaking news sound blaring on the screen. Setting my mug down, I turned up the volume as the blonde haired reporter began to speak.

                “We have just received word that police have just taken Frank Castle, aka The Punisher into custody. He was apprehended around 3:00am this morning. More news to come, I am Rebecca Stone, this is New York 1 signing off.”

Cold fear spreads into limbs, weighing them down. I saw his picture flash on the screen before my eyes and I felt well with tears. As if I hadn’t cried enough over the past few days. I sniffled, pulling Frank’s shirt closer to my body, as if it were him hugging me. I felt heavy with fear and with guilt. I pulled a blanket over myself, coffee forgotten on the table, as I cried myself to sleep for what seemed 1,000th  time this week.

I was woken up by a pounding on my door. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, before making my way bleary eyed to the door. I peeked through the peephole and saw a tall blonde on the other side, hearing a bark. I took a deep breath and opened the door slowly. She smiled when she saw me, I took her in from head to toe, spotting Max at her heels.

“Who are you and what are you doing with Max?” I asked, kneeling  down  to scratch the pup between the ears.

“Um, my name is Karen Page. I work for the lawyers representing Frank. He asked me bring him to you. He said you were the only one he could trust with him.” She said, softly tucking her long hair behind her ear.  I looked up at her.

“He did?” I asked, still petting Max. She nodded and I stood up.

“Would you like to come in?” I asked, jabbing my thumb towards my still open door.

                “No, I don’t have that much time. But here are Max’s things.” She said, handing me a duffel bag full of food, dog toys and poop baggies. I dropped it in my apartment before turning back and taking Max’s leash from her. She smiled and turned to leave.

“Wait!” I called after her Max’s leash still in hand. She turned quickly. I paused, swallowing harshly.

“How…How is he?” I asked, voice just a whisper, biting at my bottom lip. She stepped towards me.

                “He’s a little worse for the wear, but he’s alive. That reminds me. He gave me this.” She murmured, digging through her purse. She pulled a slightly crinkled envelope from her bag.

                “It’s for you. He had me write it for you, since he’s restrained.” She said, with a shrug. I reached out and took it from her, holding it closely to my chest.

“Thank you, Karen.” I whispered, feeling tears building again. 

                “No problem.” She said, with a small smile before turning on her heel and strutting down the hall. I looked at the envelope in my hand and took a sharp breath.

                “Oh and (name).” I looked up to see her at the top of the stairs.

“yeah?” I asked, wiping at a tear with the heel of my hand.

                “He really loves you. And I know it would mean a lot If you came to his trial. Just think about it. My card is in the envelope.” She said, before galloping down the stairs. _He really loves you._ That hit me like a sack of bricks. Max whined. I looked down at the mutt that brought me to Frank in the first place.

“Wanna go for a walk, Max?” I asked, feeling my heart swell at the excited tail wag I received in response. The next few days I spent devoting my time to Max. Besides the flannel and the unread note, he was my last tie to Frank. I’d been staring down the rather unassuming envelope for two days now. Finally, I poured myself a glass of whiskey and tore open the envelope. Karen’s card drifted to the floor as I unfolded the paper. I took another swig before I read.

                _“(name),_

_I’m sorry for treating the way I did, kid. I know that I don’t have a right to make decisions for you. I like you to come to the trial. Maybe then you’ll understand why I did what I did, why I am what I am. Don’t worry about me kid. Take care of yourself._

_Frank”_

I felt my body begin to shake with tears. I clutched the page to my chest desperately. Max whimpered from his bed and made his way over to me, laying his head on my knee. I pet him gently.

“I miss him to, Max.” I said, with a sniffle. He looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes.

“I know I should go.” I muttered, as Max cocked his head and yipped at me.

“I don’t think I’m ready to him yet Maxey.” I said as he growled at me. I frowned.

“You’re right, Maxey. I’ll call Karen.” I muttered, picking up the business card. I wiped at the tears and took a deep breath before dialing Karen’s number.

“Karen?” I asked, tapping the card against the table.

                “Yeah?” She asked over the line, sounding exhausted.

“This is (name). I’ve decided I want to come to the trial.” I murmured, chewing on the inside of my lip.

                “Tomorrow. You picked a hell of a time to come.” She chuckled.

“What do you mean?” I asked, scratching Max absent mindedly between the ears.

                “Frank’s taking the stand tomorrow. It might actually help if you’re there.” She muttered.

“Are you sure I won’t mess him up?” I asked, crossing my arms and leaning back against the couch. I smiled when Max jumped up and joined me, curling up on my side.

                “I’m sure.” She said, gently.

“Thank you, Karen. I guess I’ll let you go now.” I said, fighting a yawn.

                “Have a nice night, (name).” She murmured before hanging up the phone. I hung up, dropped the phone on the couch and downed the last bit of whiskey that was in my glass. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep right there on the couch, with Max’s head in my lap.

I woke up with the sun, light streaming in my window painting the white walls in my apartment a vibrant orange. I stretched popping my back. I took a quick shower before dressing and heading to the courthouse. Reporters flooded the stairs and hallways. I quickly scanned the area for Karen, finally seeing her blonde head bobbing in the distance. I weaved my through the mass of black and navy. I sighed in relief as I reached her, touching her shoulder gently to get her attention. She whirled around and smiled.

                “Great you’re here. We’re just about to start.” She said, dragging me into the courtroom, down the aisle, past people that had protest signs.

                “Here’s your seat.” She said, gesturing to a place in the third row. I gave her a weak smile and took my seat, looking around and feeling out of place in the room. Finally the judge entered and the audience stood.

                “Court is in session. Defense?” She said, banging her gavel as the audience sat and the dark haired attorney stood.

“Your Honor, The Defense would like to call Frank Castle to the stand.” He said, in a smooth voice. The judge nodded.

                “Bailiff please bring in the witness.” She said, as the audience turned collectively towards the door. I, too, turned breath hitching in my throat when I saw him enter flanked by two guards. The first thing that I noticed was how good he looked in that suit, the second was the ugly, yellowing bruising on his beautiful face. He looked down at me as he passed, eyes going wide with surprise. I gave him a small smile, as he tried to keep his gaze on me as he passed me. As he took the stand, his eyes hadn’t left mine. I noticed Karen glance over her shoulder and smile at me. But Frank didn’t look happy. He looked nervous and on edge. His nose was twitching like it did was he was agitated and I felt my stomach fall, hands twiddling in my lap. The attorney spoke again, what he was saying I didn’t really pay attention because I couldn’t stop watching Frank. Suddenly, he cast me a sad glance before turning to the judge.

                “Your Honor. Can I...uh…say something?” He asked, voice husky. The judge nodded and he began to speak voice raising in anger.

                “I ENJOYED KILLING THOSE PEOPLE AND IF I HAD TO DO IT AGAIN I WOULD. I’M GUILTY, GUILTY! I’M THE PUNISHER! THE BIG BAD PUNISHER!” He Screamed, as the bailiff’s dragged him out. I felt my heart twist as tears pricked my eyes, I glanced angrily at Karen meeting her gaze with my angry one.

“Order in the court. Order in the court!” The judge called, banging her gavel again. I glared once more at Karen before grabbing my purse and storming from the room. I heard Karen calling my name as I pushed my way through the crowd.

                “(name)! Wait, Wait!” She called grabbing my arm. I whipped around, pulling my arm from her grip.

“What the fuck was that?” I screamed, tears streaming freely down my face.

                “That…That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Well, it happened and he’s screwed.” I hissed, turning to go again. She grabbed me again.

                “That’s not the Frank I talked to yesterday.” She murmured, eyes downcast.

“Well, whatever happened to make him act like that just put him away for life. I’m going to lose him and he’s not going to get help. Don’t contact me again.” I said, tearing my arm from her grip again and storming from the building. Once outside, I tried to catch my breath, wiping at the tears. I hailed a taxi and hurried back to my apartment.

Once inside, I threw my purse down on the couch and curled around Max on the floor.

“What am I gonna do without him, Max?” I asked, as the pup whispered and licked my face. I smiled, taking comfort in the animal that was so much like Frank. Just like Frank pitbulls had a bad rap. My phone rang pulling from my thoughts.

I stood up and rubbed my eyes and hurried to the coffee table.

“Hello?” I asked, sniffling.

                “(name)? This is Suzie. I was just wondering if you’ll be in tomorrow. We’ve missed you at the clinic.” She said, gently.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be in for a while, Suzie. Things have been rough the past few weeks.” I murmured, face now tacky with tears.

                “Ok, but I you should know that you’re almost out of sick days.” She said, sounding rather petulant over the phone.

“I know. I gotta go, Suzie.”  I said, hanging up without waiting for a response. I dropped onto the couch and sighed.

“What are we gonna do Maxey.” I asked, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

                                                                                                ~~~~~~~~~

                Saturday rolled around and I finally had to leave for groceries. I had my arms full when I unlocked the door and pushed into my dim apartment. I looked around,  surprised not to have Max at my feet already.

“Max?” I called, dropping the groceries on the counter. I turned around and froze as Frank and Max exited my bathroom.

“Frank.” I whispered, feeling tears in my eyes again.

“Frank.” I repeated, smiling as I launched myself towards him and into his arms. I clung to him, his strong arms clutching me to his chest tightly.

                “I’m sorry, (name). I’m so sorry.” He murmured, pressing kisses into my hair. I laughed, looking up at him.

“I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you.” I whispered, punctuating each sentence with a kiss. He smiled at me.

                “I love you.” He murmured, resting his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and listened to him breath. I felt him lift my chin and kiss me fiercely. I smiled, deepening the kiss before pulling away.

“How is this possible?” I whispered, running my hands down over his chest.

                “I don’t have time to explain. But I had nowhere I could go, nowhere else I wanted to go.” He replied, gently. His gaze was intense on me.

“Why does this feel like a goodbye.” I asked, panic flooding my chest, as I clutched at his shoulders.

                “I need you to leave.” He murmured, taking my hands in his.

“What?” I asked, searching his face. He nodded.

                “You heard me. I need you to quit your job, take Max and leave the city.” He said, firmly brown eyes begging me.

“No, Frank, I can’t. I won’t leave you.” I said, slightly hysterical.

                “You can and you will. You have to. There is a war about to break loose in this city and I can’t have the one good thing in my life ripped from me again. So I am begging you, (name), leave  Hell’s Kitchen, at least for now. Do it for me.” He pleaded with me. I choked on the emotion in my throat, tears falling again. He cupped my face in his rough hands.

                “I’m sorry that it has to be this way.” He whispered, swiping at tears.

“What about you. I don’t wanna lose you.” I whispered, stroking his cheek with the back of my hand.

                “I’ll find you. I promise.” He said, taking my hand from his face and pressing a kiss to knuckles.

“You better keep your word, Castle.” I muttered, smiling faintly.

                “I will, kid. Come on, I’ll help you pack.” He said, walking me to the bedroom.

An hour later, I was standing on the sidewalk with Frank and Max. He pressed a set of keys into my hand.

                “Here are the keys. It’s got a full tank.” He said, gently. I nodded and fingered the keys in my palm. He kneeled down and began to talk to Max.

                “Hey, Max. Take care of (name) she needs you. Be a good boy for her and I find you when I can. Alright boy?” He said, pressing a kiss to the dogs head as it whimpered. Frank opened the door of the van and put him in the front seat, before turning to me.

                “Guess this is goodbye, kid.” He chuckled. I choked back another sob. He sighed and lifted my chin.

                “I know this is hard, but these tears are only making it harder.” He said, wiping them away again.

“I know, it’s just that-“ I said, sniffling.

                “It’s just what?” He asked, smirking at me.

“I don’t wanna say goodbye. It just seems too permanent.” I murmured, looking up into his beautiful brown eyes.

                “Then don’t.” He replied, with a shrug.

“What?” I asked, shock.

                “Say ‘see you later’” He replied, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I nodded, sniffling again.

“I love you, you know that right? No matter what you’ve done. I will always love you.” I murmured, pressing my hands against his chest trying to memorize the feel of it under my palms.

                “I do. I will cherish that thought. I love you too.” He said, kissing me gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck pressing my lips back against his with all that I had. He pulled away smiling.

                “Thank you.” He murmured, stroking my cheek again.

“For what?” I asked, smiling.

                “Everything. Now get going so you can beat the traffic.” He said, nodding towards the road.

“Fine, fine. See you later, Frank.” I whispered, taking a deep breath.

                “See you later, kid.” He said, as I walked around the front of the van. I smiled at him before climbing into the driver’s seat. The van roared to life, I put it into gear and began to drive. To drive away from everything I had ever known and loved. I watched Frank wave as he grew smaller and smaller in my rearview, until I could no longer see him. As I drove I clung to his promise of “See you later” and hoped that it would be enough.


End file.
